Procion

Good one Matthew! I'll take a brave pill and give this ago during the week. I'll grab a few photos along the way as the cars are slightly different. Thx

Should have attempted this job during the summer when it was warm and light! Had the “Emergency call system unavailable” warning popping up last year during very low temperatures. This year its started early and persists much longer. The battery is £60 but a swine to fit. I’m not prepared to pay £400 to have it done by the dealer and 2 indies have quoted not a lot less. ISTA is showing the entire head lining needs to be removed in order to properly access the Telematics Unit from under the shark fin. Is there another way? I read somewhere you can drop the back half of the headlining only and with difficulty create enough room to squeeze an arm in. Has anyone tried this? I don’t want to damage anything by blundering around prizing trims off and bending flimsy foam mouldings only to find it’s not possible. The other question I have is, how is the battery retained? Spring tray? Snaps in somehow? Screw fitting? Push fit/pop out? I’d hate to be able to reach it but not extract it or reconnect the new one.

Turbos don't just fail so I'm surprised the car never brought up oil level/pressure or emissions warnings prior to breakdown. The only sure way to destroy a pair of turbos on a car like this is to either cook them or starve them of oil. Turbo impellor shafts run on a film of oil, they don't use mechanical bearings. If the shaft / housing wears (due to lack of lube e.g. no oil or carbonised oil) they then start to "rattle around" which in turn causes the oil seals to fail. Once the oil seals have gone lots of lovely engine oil finds its way into both the exhaust and intake systems. The DPF will be clogged by part burnt oil and the matrix of the charge cooler will be saturated by oil. An indie might salvage both but a dealer won't, they'll just change everything that may be affected. You have a choice: Dealer, everything replaced new, a big labour bill at a known cost but with guarantee. OR Indie, exchange turbos, hope they can salvage the DPF and clean out the charge cooler. I reckon you're looking at £1000-£1200 for "cheapo" remanufactured turbos alone + labour + any other bits and an open ended bill if stuff ain't salvageable.

As no one else wanted to post anything thought I'd have a go! Belt on, seat brought forward, headrest adjusted to accommodate helmet, steering wheel raised and pushed forward for ease of rapid turning, seat bolsters tightened to maximum. Feeling a bit edgy so wriggle in the seat and phaff with things. Start the engine, reverse out of parking spot, eyes darting everywhere, senses heightened. Muted rumbling from an M4 adjacent that’s about to follow in my wake. Conscious of the now tightened stomach. Slowly turn left between the wooden fenced driveway entrance and gingerly crawl down the tree lined slope to the marshalling / scrutineering area. Guy in a red overall to the right by the office gestures to stop. Wrist band, wave right arm and point to it. Points to neck, wants to see chin strap done up. Finally, gesturing again to put the window up. Eh? Oh Bugger! Forgot. Palms now wet, heartbeat audible inside the helmet, the M4 behind is growling. Passing traffic on the circuit, waiting for what seems like for ever. Find myself fiddling with the iDrive, the ventilation, the wipers for no reason. I press the sport button, the display turns green, knock the stick left with the back of the hand into M/S. Come on for gawds sake. The B5s V8 is purring softly, 740 ish revs, auto hold on, why is my foot on the brake? The red overall indicates to pull on the slipway, another red overall waves a flag and swings an arm in the direction of the circuit. I press the throttle, the V8 purrs again. The big B5 catapults forward onto rubber marked tarmac in front of the clubhouse. Glance in the mirror, surge forward with stomach displacing speed, chop across the kerbs, no time to look at anything than the ever faster approaching right hander of the old hairpin. Stay left, find the kerb, looking right for the insanely downhill apex, scanning track for damp & leaves. All this whilst braking like hell. Back off the brakes, turn hard and fumble to find the power before I straighten her up. The head up crosses my vision, 48 mph, must be in 2nd, M4 filling the mirror. Stuff it, full boot down what seems like a cliff, the cambers the wrong way, bugger, the big beasts dash lights up as I desperately tried to lose the excess of applied speed before hacking across the apex of Barn corner. The M4 is right behind, howling its presence. I floor her, the engine note drops, the bonnet lifts slightly as she inexorably starts to walk away from the growling yellow M car. Downhill to the start/finish line, she’s at 125 and rising fast. A structure whizzes past my peripheral vison, the rev counters at 5500 and spinning dementedly upwards. The sweeping left hander leading up the hill beckons, I’m now doing a 135, time to brake and stay right. A considered press of the brake knocks off 30mph, the rising ground takes another 10. Too fast, too fast! A panicked prod drops another untidy 10. The stability control flickers and the ABS buzzes as I point her up the hill. I turn the wheel and feel the oversteer creeping in as the Pirellis run out of grip. Power full on, she sorts herself out romping up the hill with effortless abandon. Move left and ease back the power for the gentle right curve that’s Charlies. Balancing the beast on the power I feel the nose washing in and out according to my foot as she lunges towards the straight. The M4 has gained ground in the curve, I floor her once more, the gap reopens. Traffic ahead, thankfully indicating for me to pass. I canon along Park, past a Mini that’s perhaps doing 90. There’s a 3 series ahead, again indicating. The M4 is a yellow smudge to the distant rear. I’ve now hit 142 and rising fast, the quad tips bellowing the V8s song in full voice. I momentarily think how glorious the sound before realising, I’m running out of road. Three cones at 100 mtr intervals and I’ve just passed one. Hard, hard, hard on the brakes, franticly toggling down the gears trying to lose speed as the red and white kerb approaches. I over cook it, the beasts tyres squeal in protest. I saw at the wheel desperately seeking grip, she gently but unstoppably floats left, leaning heavily as she does so. The nearside Pirellis contact the grass. The buttocks tense, the prospect of a roll over flashes through my mind. There’s some sort of concrete structure underneath the grass, with a boot full of power she regains her poise. Powering round the sweeping curve once more I’m conscious of the Goose neck approaching. Get it right, it’s awesome, get it wrong the car becomes a lawnmower. I get it right; I realise I’m holding my breath, the M4 is catching again. I plunge down the hill wearing big boy pants. Into Mansfield. Brake early, brake hard, she’s in 4th ready for a full power exit and a stroll up into 3 digits. Traffic ahead, the circuit is wide here, the bus stop, rocket past them. Chop across to the white shed while braking for the hairpin. I enter at 70 something, toggling down into a cruel 3rd. I manage to exit at 60, somehow having maintained a straight but tyre squealy line. The track narrows sharply, brake, drop to 2nd for the mountain. Rapid 90’ right turn, full power, the Mountain, I can’t see over its blind summit. Leap of faith. No waving flags, keep it full down. ½ way up she slams into 3rd, I hit the crest at 80 something. Gravity shoves me down in the seat, the revs suddenly peak, the steering goes light, the tyres squeal. I’m bloody air borne (or at least the suspensions at full stretch) in 2 ¼ tonnes of estate car! It feels like forever, we land, I back off the power for Hall bends, the clubhouse flashes past my left while the trees to the right grow ever denser. Indicator on, the M4 shoots past. A bead of sweat drips off my nose, my hands are soaked, I’m absolutely buzzing with adrenaline. Another lap for cool down, no shrieking tyres this time around, relax, cool down and appraise the last slightly under 2 mins. What I did right, what I did wrong, what I could do better. Could I tidy up the approaches and gain a few of seconds? Check the car out, tyre temperature was 70’C +, listen for any odd noises, feel for any vibration, let the turbos cool before a fag & coffee in the carpark. I potter round, or so it feels, arriving at the base of the mountain and departing the track. I park up, take off my rather moist helmet and step out of the car. I’m trembling slightly, the gentle breeze alerts me to how damp my clothing now is. I stand there admiring the car, I’m grinning like a demented fool and chuckling quietly to myself. Fumbling to spark up a fag I eventually manage to light it, inhaling slowly and deeply. A fella comes up to me and starts telling me how amazing the car sounds at full whack before launching into his automotive life story. We idly chat for a few minutes discussing other participants, cars, grand prix and the weather. The guy with the M4 rumbles in. He clambers out, removes his helmet, and comes sauntering across to talk. He’s blown away that a hulking great estate car can simply power away from him in a straight line. We talk cars for 10 mins. To be honest, for me, a track day is the most fun you can have with your clothes on. A public day is just too dangerous for an expensive car that also happens to be the daily. Mixing it with looneys in Radicals and kids with lightening reactions but no hazard perception in stage whatever Fiestas can get hairy. Especially true in braking zones or bends where the no overtaking rule gets ignored. You might be within your capabilities but more often than not some others won’t be. Car club days being private events means a lot of folk know each other and the standards of behaviour both on and off track are much better. Pacing rather than racing is the order of the day. Sure, someone will run out of talent but your very unlikely to experience misfortune unless its self-induced! If you get chance, do one.

I ran my M Sport G31 530D Xdrive touring for 18 months covering 20k miles. Michelin Premacy 3 run flats, 245/40/19 front 275/35/19 rear, non-adaptive suspension. After playing about with the tyre pressures (ended up running way lower than spec’) the ride was supremely compliant combined with tenacious road holding. A very comfortable place to be, no jarring, skipping, crashing or tramlining. Rock steady soaked up the bumps yet still gave chassis feedback. It did though have M Sport seats. I’m 6ft 2” and found them the most uncomfortable things I’ve ever had the misfortune to sit on. I constantly suffered lower back pain and left leg cramps. After an hour I’d start to grit the teeth, after two I’d have to get out and stretch off. Doesn’t bother most people but I discovered I wasn’t alone with this. My current car (I’ve had for 3 years) is a G31 Alpina B5 with comfort seats as standard. I can do 8 hours at a time without issue. So, if you’re coming from comforts beware, M sports might not suit you. The B5 has adaptive and runs on 20” 30 profile PZeros, it’s a magic carpet with rocket boosters. The car wouldn’t work without adaptive, Alpina put a lot of work into tuning the suspension. Comfort does what it says, no dive under braking, keeps level under harsh acceleration, absorbs surfaces. Sport stops it rolling around and you feel every bit of grit, comfort plus on a motorway detaches you from the road surface. Considering it’s the same bodyshell the two cars are night and day. All that said, in whatever form the G30/31 are superb cars. Yes, the adaptive is probably worth it but not essential imho. Compared to an F11? you won’t go wrong. A quantum leap upward.

This one frequently pops up elsewhere but I'm going to ask anyway as I'm non the wiser after reading so much conflicting opinion. BMW say filled for life and there's a big green sealed for life sticker on the oil pan. This presumably is a life of 100K miles or the factory warranty period plus perhaps, the duration of any AUC warranty thereafter. Why do BMW say this and what do other car makers who use the ZF8 say? ZF themselves advise a change at 40K miles if the car is used aggressively, for towing, or under heavy loads in hot climates. For "normal" use they recommend 60K. The total capacity of the box and cooler is I believe somewhere in the region of 7 - 10 lts, model dependant if the entire system is totally drained. It seems people report collecting around 5lt from a pan / filter change with the balance presumably remaining in the system. If one were to change the pan & filter at 60K (Using all OEM stuff) and something goes wrong say 15,000 miles later, where would one stand warranty wise? With only a partial fluid replacement via the pan and filter method does it make sense to subsequently change on going at 30k intervals? Finally, if anyone reading this has had the fluid changed, what was your experience? Answers and thoughts on a postcard please......

The Xdrive system is very sensitive to variations in the rolling diameter of tyres, not only across axles left to right but also between axles. E.G. Front to Rear. There is a lot of information and debate about this on the web, well worth a look if you are interested. It's a very techy subject and not always simply explained. BMWs own documentation states the following: Notes and specifications for tyre / wheel exchange General: • The tyre size, manufacturer and tyre tread must be the same on one axle. • To meet the BMW standards, the vehicle should be equipped with tyres from the same manufacturer and with the same tyre tread (tyres approved by BMW) on all 4 wheels. • The difference in tyre tread depth on one axle must not exceed 2 mm (control quality of suspension control systems and wheel alignment requirement) • The tyres with the higher tread depths must be mounted on the rear axle. • The DOT age difference must not exceed 4 years. • The tyre pressure must be adjusted when the tyres are exchanged. • Wheel exchange between the axles The wheels may be exchanged between axles to achieve even abrasion. However, BMW does not recommend switching the front wheels to the rear or vice-versa. The wheel exchange may lead to the following customer complaints: - complaints regarding acoustics - Risk of increased lane groove sensitivity Additionally for all-wheel drive vehicles: • The tyre size, manufacturer and tyre tread must be identical on all wheels; different tyre sizes between front and rear axles are only permissible if mixed tyres are fitted. • The tyre tread difference between tyres in all wheel positions must not exceed 2 mm (normal quality of the wheel control systems and wheel alignment requirement) If you dig into how differentials work, then you will “get” where they are coming from with the above recommendations. The biggest problem is tyre manufacturers sizes are remarkably and majorly inconsistent between individual tyres. * Marked tyres are strictly quality controlled to present accurate and consistent rolling diameters. * Marked tyres will all be within the prescribed tolerance when new. Personally, from many years of Xdrive ownership I’m a little sceptical that these tolerances need to be so tight. My cars Xdrive power distribution is biased 90% rear 10% front, whereas on nearly all other Xdrive models it is 40/60. As a result, thanks to my big right foot, my car chews through rears at a rate of knots so I often end up with 6mm variations. However, avoid the guidance at your peril and be prepared for a growling noise from under the car and/or worst case, the need for a new transfer box! I very much doubt the above will happen, at least you've seen what BMW say about it.

Depends on your driving style, mileage and what you expect from a tyre. If you enjoy the cars performance and handling stay premium (PZ4 or P4S). If you just want “tyres” then anything mid-range e.g., Bridgestone, Yokohama, Goodyear etc. Whatever you decide on make sure they are BMW * marked if the car has Xdrive. Pointless paying £250+ a wheel to drive like Miss Daisy.

As Dj123 says, used and abused daily, 24/7. Invariably diesel, left ticking over for hours on end, thrashed to the red line in every gear when "responding" summer/winter regardless of the weather. Up sized or extra alternator for the additional electrical requirements, boot stuffed full of heavy gear, supermarket fuel, the list goes on. A mate of mine is on traffic, he's broken several 530d's and is not a fan generally, pretty scathing in fact. That said, he does like the big petrol X5 ARVs our local force use. I do wonder what oil they put in them, is it the std BMW fare 0w-30 LL04 or something else? Mine (petrol) is capable of getting very, hot, very quickly, therefore I now use Mobil 1 ESP 0w-40 and have it changed every 8K/10K regardless. Having had an unfortunate "happening" at 30K miles I figure at £25K an engine, changing the oil frequently is £150 well spent.

One thing I would defo' do before towing is change the oil from a 0w-30 to a 5w-40, (Like Shell Helix Ultra 5W-40) much superior high temp' protection. Don't know how concerned you are about cooling or how far you want to take this but as the ultimate solution (probably at very great expense) is to install part of the cooling system from the Alpina B5. Same body shell & bits around the engine bay/ grills etc as it's just a G31 with a V8 shoe horned in. I'm guessing something similar is done with the M5. You'll note from the image it has 3 radiators lumped together to form a "module". The B5 also uses a monster fan, which subject to being able to draw adequate current might just drop straight in. I believe all 5ers sold in the middle east use a similar additional radiator package. Sure someone will pop along shortly to offer definitive advice.

Thanks for finding and posting this.

As it was a sunny Sunday I took a brave pill and opened the boot trays up. Very easy. Only need to remove the small one at the very back for inspection purposes. Lift the cover to 45' wiggle the long tongued hinges free. Lift the whole cover up above where the boot cover sits to glass height and you can get it out of the hatch easily. Lift the core pin of the single plastic rivet to the LHS of the rear lip and up she comes. Wow! Very colourful with all the cables and modules. What it all does I've not the foggiest but I sure wouldn't want to get it wet. As you can see there is a beast of a battery (105Ah) lurking below. I assume this is the main battery for starting etc. The little fella under the bonnet (60Ah) probably keeps all the computers alive and not a lot more. How they work together, if they do, I dunno. National grid would be proud of the G30s complexity. Me? I just drive it!

Where your car leads Bob, mine seems to follow and I’m equally confused about G31 batteries. My car seems to have two. One in the boot, the other is front passenger side under the scuttle. The scuttle battery is a 105amp hr Bosch AGM, the one in the boot I don’t know, as I haven’t opened it up to see. I did look on Ista (slides attached) which shows a beast of a Lithium Ion battery under the bottom boot liner. The roles of these batteries I do not understand and how long they’re supposed to last, I’ve no idea. Hopefully someone will drop by and enlighten us, or you’ll have to go a garage to find out and share the knowledge.

I ran my G31 530dX for 15 months and put 20K miles on it. It proved reliable during that time doing a split of 50-50 motorway & town. The 2 problems it threw up were 1) the air compressor for the rear suspension chafed a wire thru and stopped working. 2) The DPF failed and was replaced under warranty. Got used as a shed on many occasions carrying several hundred kg a time in the back. It was M sport spec, and I hated the seats as they gave me back ache. Awkward to reverse with mediocre rear visibility and no camera. Also, it would adopt a strange turning line when going backwards, or so it seemed to me. Averaged 30/35 round town, 40/50 on M.way. Low profile RFT tyres (Michelin Premacy 3s) 275/35/19 + 245/40/19 made for a rubbery feeling ride but quiet, hard wearing and grippy in all conditions. Had “normal” headlamps which were way better than the candles of my E61, HK sound system was good and a few extra toys to play with. Brakes excellent and still on original pads and rotors when I sold it. Only topped the AD Blue up 3 times whilst I had it, ran it on V power diesel always and changed oil every 10K. Reasonably quick but no fireball so not very exciting in that department, excellent handling and grip when pressed. Generally, a laid-back demeanour to the car, with good ride even on crap roads. The G31 chassis is superb (try it out with the ESP off) its pedigree shines through even on poverty spec 520s. Versatile car did everything I asked of it without complaint. Would I buy the same? No, I’d go 540i. As a footnote and I’m speculating here, I would of thought high quality fuel always, frequent long runs and the odd Italian tune up would keep any soot & crap under control? Never saw a flake of soot on the exhaust tips of mine but obviously don’t know about EGR etc. Think you'd be wasting your money remapping it or adding a generic tuning box. To what end / why bother? You seem concerned about reliability so why stress stuff by trying to get it to do something it wasn't designed for? Most remaps I've seen just ram more fuel in and are pretty poor. Proper mapping needs to be done on a rolling road and adjusted to suit the unique characteristics of your engine.